Notes from July 12/13, 2008 -- Parenting -- Character

Sermon Notes for Small Group Leaders
Parenting
July 12/13, 2008
Eric Wharton
Mark 4:26-29


Outline
1. Be there for our children – physically and emotionally.
2. Help our children develop the capacity to own their own life.
3. Parent with grace and make it safe to be real.

Content
1. We create conditions for God to shape His character in our children. We should reflect His heart and attitude to them.
2. The parable of the seed and how it grows is similar to character in children’s hearts: the growth is in God’s hands.
3. We need to be there for our children; in other words, be a safe and loving presence, respond to their needs, and not be pre-occupied with something else.
4. Support and delight in our children.
5. Move toward a relationship that comforts fears and addresses needs.
6. The crux of the gospel is to take what life throws at us and deal with it in relationship.
7. Prepare our children to embrace God Who is with us.
8. Children are overwhelmed with life when no one is there.
9. Children need to realize that their problems are their responsibility and not someone else’s.
10. They need to have the freedom to experience the consequences of their actions.
11. Getting angry gets results quickly but doesn’t change hearts.
12. Children’s job is to cross the boundary and keep pushing; our job is to be on the other side of the boundary and keep teaching.
13. Help children see themselves as loved, not good or bad. If they think they’re good, they might not see their need for a Savior.
14. Children need to know there’s grace to be who they are.

Aim
Parents’ job is to develop a relationship with their children and to co-operate with God and create conditions for God to work in them. The desired result is that children will have a heart to connect with God and His character will be shaped in them.

Application Questions
1. If you’re not a parent yet, what are some ideals you have that you’d like to institute in your family?
If you are a parent, what ideals did you have that haven’t happened in your children?
2. How do you deal with misbehavior in your children? How did your parents deal with your misbehavior, and was it good or bad?
3. Describe a time when your child took all of himself to you with a problem and tell how you reacted.
4. When you were a child, did you feel free to take all of yourself to your parents? Why or why not?
5. What are some things your parents could have done better? What did they do right?
6. If you are a parent, what are some things you did or are doing right? Some things you wish you’d done differently?